A Piece of My Day

Snarky Commercials

Posted on: Monday, 29 November 2010

 

I’m writing today in response to a commercial for a coffee maker in which a daughter-in-law has some snarky things to say to her new mother-in-law. The goal of the commercial, it seems, is to convince all other Snarky DILs that – if you, too, buy this coffee maker, then you, too, can tell your MIL how her son drinks coffee now – with the insinuation being that the MIL’s coffee was akin to sucking down tar mixed with cream and sugar. Each time I see this commercial, I cringe a bit.

Today’s photo is a close-up of my wedding band. Now, I’ve learned a lot since Hubby S and I got married almost seven years ago, but one of the most important lessons for me has been that you don’t just marry that person – you marry into a family, too. I had heard this many times before I was married, and I’ve heard it many times since – but often, in a negative sense, as if the in-laws are some kind of burden (see first paragraph). Now, I am not one to belittle someone else’s experience, nor am I dumb enough to believe that everyone’s experience with their in-laws is great in every way. But I find myself resenting the assumption which says that marrying into another family is necessarily a bad thing.

For me, the experience of marrying into Hubby S’s family has been anything but bad – and, in fact, it’s been filled with a lot of joys. His family has seen me through the roughest time of my life – the period of time when my mom was sick and after she died. His family traveled great distances to celebrate with us when I graduated from seminary. And beyond the bigger milestones are the many small ways in which I have continued to become a part of the family: my mother-in-law taught me to use a sewing machine; my father-in-law sent me a silly Red Sox flower thingie just because he knew I’d love it; we’ve celebrated the last five July 4ths together on their boat on the Charles River in Boston; and we talk on the phone often, about issues big and small.

Not every family is able to share everything. In our case, distance keeps us from being able to share in everyday life, and so there is always a short adjustment period whenever we are together in person. But, for me, anyway, being a part of an even bigger family picture gives me some new perspectives, and it continues to teach me about myself and others. And for these relationships and perspectives and learning moments, I remain grateful.

Peace be upon your evening,

K

PS – The observant among you 🙂 will notice that I have changed my title format to make them more subject-oriented.

 

 

 

 

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